I am gonna invade Lisbon today.

There are some beautiful girls in Lisbon. I decided to try pick one up so I just winked at the hot ones all day. It was only after sunset that I realized I had my cheesy reflective sunglasses on all day.

I learnt how to say fuck off in Portuguese. It’s fuck off.

I had lunch at a Michelin starred chefs restaurant called Cantinho Do Avillez. The food was simple but clever. Awesome. I ate slow cooked bread crumbed eggs with chorizo. It just worked yummy. The eggs were like soft poached but not. Amazing. What a great flavor combination.

You feel quite inconsequential in these big cities. You have no power here. Which leaves you at the mercy of everything.

I went through numerous embarrassing situations today. One with a shop attendant and the other with myself. You see I needed my hair and beard to be blonde for obvious reasons so I went shopping to secure the purchase of a hair dye which proved a little more difficult than I thought. Shit. After asking the sales people in a few pharmacies, that wasn’t easy cause you have to time the exact moment you approach the sales person to avoid any eye or hearing contact with another customer. Eventually I did buy it for R320 bucks, only about 18 euro. Which pissed me off a lot.

The instructions where in Portuguese. I have never used hair dye so this wasn’t great but I had a cunning plan. Google. Shit that didn’t work. You see I couldn’t find out how long I needed to leave this shit in and the fact that I chose to do my beard first was a big factor. I used the latex glove provided and mixed the stuff and smothered it all over my beard. I waited and waited and then waited a bit longer. I had so much time on my hands that I decided to dye my armpit hair as well. Damn.

The end result has a lot to do with the color red hence my decision to find a barber first thing tomorrow.

My thought for the day. If you need long blonde hair buy a wigg.